“I’d had enough last night. I had wept the tears of yet another reminder of how I hadn’t been enough to keep his attention, how I was old hate, boring, old and unattractive to him. And that she was everything else.
I woke with a feeling of weariness. Did I want to keep going? Did I want to walk away and just start fresh in life? This was hard. So hard and my heart was in tatters from all that happened. Plus, we didn’t do anything together, not even sex. Was there really anything left to save?
Plus, he didn’t want to hear it anymore. Months of grieving while he changed everything about him, and he was fed up, too. I saw it had started to wear on him with hia yelling at me.
But something else has struck me with waking: I wanted us. He’d shown me a man Id always wanted and it was worth fighting for. I truly had been one foot in since the affair, and I had to get serious.
Six hours of research later, I had a plan. It would start with gratitude. I resented him so deeply for changing my view of him, for hurting me, for being so selfish. I despised the man he had been. I was disgusted by him.
But the new him, I was grateful for. I could express that.”